This email came from one of my dear clients and with her permission, I am sharing it with you, along with my response. Many people are experiencing similar challenges and the current astrological/universal energies can offer insight on how to handle the vast changes we are facing.
Hi Camille,
I feel lost and confused. I feel like I am changing and it is affecting the people in my life. I feel like I am spinning in circles and not getting anything done. I feel pulled in too many directions. I feel I have so many ideas and no time to accomplish anything. I feel that time is flying by way too fast. I wake up almost every morning with the thought that I am going to die. That is my greatest fear right now. Failing is my second greatest fear. I feel like both of my fears are happening.
It seems I take on everyone else’s problems as my own and I need to learn to draw boundaries. I also expect a lot from myself and maybe I need to learn to be nicer to myself. Maybe I am learning how to do those things and the effect is the anxiety I am feeling. I feel I need more time to relax and enjoy life and that feels lazy to me. I have always been work and then more work. Logically, I feel I am moving in a direction of better balance, but I have so much anxiety.
What if the changes I am making in my life are wrong? I have a lot of sadness over the situation with my adult sons. I moved them out of my home because of their lack of taking personal responsibility. At work, I have hired people and fired people to make what seem to be needed changes. Yet I know that everybody is good and everybody is just trying to find their way. Who am I to be able to effect peoples lives just to try to make me happier? I don’t want to hurt anyone or take anything away from anyone. It’s not a gain for me if someone else has to lose.
I feel that I have spent the first half of my life catering to everyone else’s needs. Now I feel that I am starting to cater to myself and it feels wrong and selfish. I feel that I can’t go back to the way I was and I am not sure if I am headed on the right path. I feel like I am swimming across a large lake and am stuck halfway. I can’t see either side anymore and I am tired and confused.
Thank you
Becky
Hi Becky,
I’m so sorry you are going through this! Because of the high energies in the Cardinal Cross right now (2012 Buzz) , deep challenges and issues are surfacing in people’s lives. Fears, doubts, lack of confidence, health issues, – where ever there are weaknesses — those issues are coming up to the surface to be addressed. That’s because it is those things that are blocking Divine Energy from being expressed more fully through us.
What you are going through, as scary as it may be, is part of the natural process of evolution right now. You are cleansing and purging at a very deep level. Take a deep breath, my friend, you’re okay.
The changes you are going through are profound, and essential for your growth. Please allow them to continue. We cannot continue to function in the new energies with the old patterns. It’s like trying to put a square peg in a round hole. So you will find yourself growing, changing your attitudes and changing your behaviors. And of course that will upset the apple cart! People are accustomed to you in one way and you are moving to another. You cannot shape and mold yourself according to the expectations of others. You must allow your High Self to express; to be who your really are.
One of the big areas people need to address now is who and what they are responsible for, and to what degree. It is no longer okay, by Universal Decree, to carry along others and not allow them to take responsibility for themselves. If you are doing for others, they never learn to do for themselves. Their growth is greatly hampered. People must learn to take personal responsibility for themselves, their own issues, and their own growth. So, the universe will continue to put pressure on you, until you step back and let your loved ones fend for themselves. The Aquarian Age is the Age of Personal Responsibility, where people create their own lives, and not have someone take care of them.
Please take a good, hard look at who, what and how much you are responsible for. Be courageous and step back and let others sort out their problems, find solutions, pay their bills – or not pay their bills and learn from the consequences. You cannot remove the consequences from others for their thoughts and actions. Accept they won’t be happy at first but this is what growing up is all about. And I’m including 40, 50 + year olds who need to grow up!
Plan a vacation and get away. The stress is compounding and you don’t have time to decompress. Getting away, even for a nice long weekend where you don’t have to orchestrate everything will be very restorative for you. This is important so you can fill your energy tank back up. You’re runnin’ on empty, girl!
Balance is another key to living in the Age of Aquarius. You are acting as a workaholic; that will not be tolerated in this new Age. Why? Because the universe is working to restore balance now – for work time, there needs to be play time, action must be balanced with rest. The Law of Cause and Effect is ever in motion and cannot be stopped. So if you overwork, it will result in negative consequences. That isn’t punishment; it is simply how the Law works. Balance must be restored. You must accept that rest, recuperation, play, down time are critical for your emotional, mental and physical self. There will be breakdown if you try to go against the universal energies now. You have free will. Use it well.
As to your fear of death and failing, fears, doubts, lack of self esteem – all these issues within the self that are blocking your evolution are coming to the surface to be purged. So the most important thing to do right off the bat, accept that this is a part of you right now. Don’t deny it, run from it, and push it back down again. This is your lovely, wonderful, delightful self showing you things within you that are hampering you. Thank your self for bringing these issues and fears to the surface so they don’t impact you from an unconscious level. Now that they are conscious, you can address them.
There is nothing in your chart, and nothing that I am getting from connecting with the inner plane Masters to indicate you have physical health issues that will result in an untimely death. Trust that. There is no life threatening disease lurking within you. So when you wake up in the morning, use self-talk to formulate a positive Thought Form within which you function that day. For example, the initial thought upon awakening might be “ugh, I’m not ready for today. So busy!” Nip it in the bud and replace it with, “This is going to be a perfect day. I just know it! Good morning Universe. Good morning to my guides, my guardian angel and all others assisting me. Thank you for seeing me through my day”.
You will be amazed at the difference this makes.
Ask your High Self to assist you in discovering the cause of your fears. I am a great believer in the power and benefits of meditation. It is a gentle way of self-discovery. This will be of great assistance to you if you are willing to give it the time and effort required. It’s so worth it.
As a mother, as an employer, you have the responsibility to bring balance and to create work and home environments that are healthy and productive. You must accept what works and excise what doesn’t. If you were to study Kabbalah, you would understand that two important qualities of the Creator, (and of us as we are made in the image and likeness of the Creator) are the Creators ability to expand and contract, to accept and excise. You can’t have an ‘anything goes’ universe and you can’t have that in your work or home.
You’re doing just fine. You have to face these issues that are cropping up, difficult as they are, and grow through them. There is so much support to assist you, Becky! Call on your High Self, your Guardian Angel and Guides. That’s what they are they for, to assist you. For some crazy reason 🙂 , we all agreed to incarnate in this time of unprecedented growth. Hang in there!
All the best to you,
Camille
